People complain at times that we are on a “lockdown”. In my experience, this is not a “lockdown” at all! It merely changes the way I look at things.
I am 66 years old and was released prison in November of 2019 after serving 25 years in Central California Women’s from Facility. I am an only child, with no children of my own. For most of my life I never learned how to be responsible for anything or anyone, not even myself. Most things were given to me or done for me. Needless to say, I did not know how to live my life on life’s terms. I know without a doubt that I was blessed when I was accepted into the Crossroads program.
I knew I had to change my ways, my thoughts, behaviors and mostly my attitude. There were major changes to make if I was to make it in this world. See, my entire life, I depended on my mother, and she always came to my rescue. It was the only way she knew how to love me, I know that now. This was most embarrassing. That was, until I met other women in my same predicament that welcomed me and were willing to help. I have learned how to make decisions without the use of alcohol and drugs. Crossroads has helped me get the necessary documents I needed to apply for a part time job at God’s Pantry.
I was able to work for two weeks before we were asked to self-quarantine. At first they asked for only 14 days, but now those 14 days have come and gone. Now the whole world is on self-quarantined, and mandatory covering on our faces when in public.
People complain at times that we are on a “lockdown”. In my experience, this is not a “lockdown” at all! It merely changes the way I look at things. My journey has not been stopped; it’s just taken a turn in another direction. Everyone believes in “something” or “someone” and in my life I choose to believe in God.
During my time of being quarantined I feel extremely grateful to be a part of the Crossroads family. I feel safe, cared for and loved. This Covid 19 has taught me many things, but mostly I’m realizing what’s really important in my life.
A month before I was to be released from prison my mother passed away. She was everything to me as well as my only family. I never thought I could survive without her. Crossroads has helped me become an independent woman with life skills and how to think for myself. Now I am a woman with goals for the future, and I no longer have to live in the past.
This Covid 19 is a horrible thing and I pray that it will be over soon. In the meantime, I will be reflecting on what is really important: Living each and every day to the fullest, being mindful of how precious today is, for tomorrow is not promised. I thank God every day for bringing me to Crossroads and for the love they have shown me, as well as taught how to love myself.